i was sleeping

Out beyond the moonless, starless place
in solitude and glorious bliss
You were there while
I was sleeping

Astride a beam of light
that pierced the beyond
with a brilliant , fearless invasion
You were coming while
I was sleeping

Walked with the wind
Spoke to the rain
Commanded darkness
Brought peace to the earth
You were Divine while
I was sleeping

But
In the middle of a lonely, black night
forsaken and forlorn
You were grieving while
I was sleeping

Bruised
Pierced
Chastised
And died, yet
You were only sleeping while
I was sleeping

Like a thief through my window
to steal my heart away
You tip-toed to my soul while
I was sleeping

With the gaze of a Prince
And one sweet kiss
You awakened me while
I was sleeping

I Was Sleeping©
By: Jayme Martin

(illustration by: Ginella Calvit Hedelsky)

 

This Treasure (the finale)

* I find Him in alone-ness.

And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray.

Matt 14:23

The day that Jesus found out that his cousin, John, had been murdered he leaves the crowd and gets in a boat and goes to a quiet place so that he can be alone.  When the crowd hears where Jesus is, they follow him and wait for him on the shore.  When Jesus got back he saw them and had compassion on them and healed the sick.   Evening came and the disciples felt like Jesus should send the crowd away because it was suppertime.  But Jesus tells them “no”.  He feeds 5000+ people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.
—Then —
Jesus immediately sends his disciples ahead of him.  Then the Bible says that…

“…after he had dismissed the crowds he went up on the mountain by himself to pray.”

Q: How did he dismiss the crowds?  Not physically but from his mind?

I wonder if this was hard for Jesus.  I mean he was a man of emotion and feeling.  He was a man of compassion, a man who grieved, who felt loss, and gave, and understood their needs.  Dismiss them?  How?  Why?

Why…?
Jesus needed ‘me-time’…alone time.  (That’s what Caius calls it.)
He went away so that he could rest in, get direction from, be empowered by, and glory in his Father.  Returning renewed so that he could continue to give himself away by loving and teaching, praying for and laying himself down for the crowd…all the way to the end.

How…?
Still learning.  Still listening.

 

This Treasure (part 3)

So, I wonder how many ‘parts’ there are going to be to ‘This Treasure’ Series.  I think that I need to give myself some sort of guideline or something.  You know I don’t wanna be all willie-nillie about this.

Rabbit trail:  Since being on this sabbatical,
I have NO concept
of time!  It is so bizarre!
Usually, I'm THE Time-Nazi.
But now, I am the definition of willie-nillie.

So, in an effort to keep myself on some sort of non-sabbatical schedule–I need some guidelines.

I’ve already covered Disappointments — which was very important for me to flesh out and find some peace with God in.  Now, don’t misunderstand me.  By no means am I saying that I’ve got everything worked out, nicely polished and put away in my “Ahh, glad that’s over” pocket.  I’m just saying that it’s in my “Work in Progress” pocket.   The other things that I am working through are those statements —  and I’m going to take them one at a time.

Side Note:  Yep, I'm going deeper.  Nope, I'm not a sad little lady.
I'm very happy actually. I like knowing that the Invisible Man
loves me so much that He wants to make me soar like a Red Balloon
and bloom like an orange Daisy.  However, to do those things...
He must do these things.  :)

*I find peace in slowness…

I didn’t read any quotes on slowness or peace from anybody ‘special’ or world renown.  I went straight to my favorite Book.  First I looked up the word slow.  What I found was quite overwhelming.

• …I am slow of speech…
• …He is slow to anger….
• ‘The LORD is slow to anger…
• …He will not be slow to repay to their face those who hate him.
• If you make a vow to the LORD your God, do not be slow to pay it…
• God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love…
• But you, O LORD, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
• The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
• The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.
• Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.
• I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love,
• The LORD is slow to anger and great in power;
• We made slow headway for many days and had difficulty arriving……..
• We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn.
• Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
• The LORD is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you,

Okay, I’m no Bible scholar but I think that we can all agree that if you take all of these verses that the Bible talks about ‘slow(ness)’  — slow(ness) would = God’s long walk to anger.  I’m just telling ya…I Don’t Do That.  So, if God tells me this statement:

I find peace in slowness.  Umm, Hello Hard Head!! (that’s me)!!  I can find the antithesis — I find distress in anger.

He is patient and kind and loving and good to me.  I want to rest there.  Not in what I feel like I’ve lost, deserve, need, require, been hurt by.  Because I get angry in this place.  Oh, and this list could go on..and it could be different for whoever reads this.  Everyone has a list.  I’m just sayin’. What is so strange to me is that for over a year I’ve unwittingly been saying it…actually signing it.  “~Peace”.  I didn’t understand until now.

Slowness.  I’m to work toward being slow to anger and there I will find peace.  Just like the Invisible Man is slow toward me.

I find peace in slowness.  Another Life Lesson.  My Life Lesson Pocket is
getting kinda full.  I think I might need a bigger pocket.
(just pocket...not pants) ;)

i hope this makes good sense…if not…be slow toward me 😉

Addendum- July 5, 2010

I am re-reading this series and noticed where I said:  “I didn’t read any quotes from anybody ‘special’ or world renown….”.  Then I go on to quote the God of the Universe??  HELLO– DING-BAT!!  I think He qualifies for both of those categories.  🙂

 

late night ramblings

This evening Cooper and I watched a movie.

The movie has upset me.

I hope I don't screw this up ---but here I go -- just a few thoughts:

• God doesn’t always ‘work things out’
• You might lose
• Losing doesn’t mean you’re a loser

Mainly…

I’m tired of ‘so-called Christians’ not hearing Jesus.

What was it that He said?

“let the little children come to me”

and

” he who has ears to hear…let him hear”

 

looking at you from…

behind.

I ‘see‘ you from behind.

‘They’ (whoever ‘they’ are) — say that hindsight is 20-20.  Well, my favorite pictures are always those captured when you leave.  I don’t understand. I detest ‘goodbye’ with such a passion.  Goodbye’s are cold…like the snow.

But I LOVE this picture of my #1 son going home….  I know that he’ll come back tomorrow…to take care of my dog.

*big sigh*

 

23 Me ~ (a hymn of my heart)

The LORD is my Shepherd and I love it that way.

He makes me lie down  in green pastures.
He knows I’m tired.

He leads me beside quiet waters.
He likes to be alone with me.

He takes time with me and is making me new.

He leads me on a high road so everyone will know I belong to Him.

Even when I walk through deep canyons and death is crouching in every cave – I’m not afraid!
You are with me!
You give me things to hold on to – they calm my soul.

You put together this great big supper in the middle of a canyon.  My enemies must stand, watching me eat!
You put lotion on my hands and feet.
I am overwhelmed.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.
And I will be with You.
I will be with YOU…in Your house……forever.
…
And I love it that way.

Jayme Martin~January 2010 ©

 

a parable

par●a●ble:

a simple story used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson

matthew 13:34

Jesus spoke all these things to the crowd in parables;

he did not say anything to them without using a parable.


Jesus.  He died being misunderstood
 

 

that’s where you’ll find me…

let’s just say…

a little birdie told me so.

 

i miss rich…

i miss rich.

 

something supernatural…

so…

Several weeks ago Brad asked me if I would go with him to a church here in town and lead worship for them before he spoke to them about his mission trip to India.

OH GREAT! (yep, those were my unSpiritual unCreative unArts director thoughts.)

I thought — those people are traditional, and are not going to receive the kind of worship that comes from my soul and — I mean — what about my bare feet — and I mean — what about it being Sunday night — and  I mean what about their older people blah blah blah blah…………(yes I am an idiot…write it down!)

But…being the good little wifey that I am — I said — “yes, honey I’ll follow wherever you lead me.”  (sure)

So… last night — Rusty, Kara and I prepare an acoustic 5-song set for this group of about 70 people.  And as soon as I stepped up on their altar the LORD spoke to me — (oops, I forgot He might be there!  Before one word came out of my mouth I had to ask God to forgive me for my prejudice.)

My LORD gave me the sweetest freedom in leading worship last night.  He flooded my mind with memories of my Grandmother and my Daddy and my Mom.  Looking out at those “family-like-faces” I felt as if I were leading a giant family reunion in worship.  I remembered sayings that my Grandma had told me.  The LORD reminded me Why I lead worship with bare feet…(i do have a reason…).

Then Brad spoke about India and the LORD came in power.  They flooded the altar and got on their knees and wept about their silence — their lack of telling their Jesus stories — they haven’t been talking about Jesus either.  The whole room was weeping and praying and repenting!  I haven’t seen anything like that in a long time.

God is on the move.

Something supernatural is happening here.