Her name is Loretta.Driving up to the Citgo, speeding from here to there…as always! And Brad didn’t put gas in the van! Isn’t that his job?
Somewhere in the rules book it says that’s his job!
Now, I have to debate Cooper as to why he can’t have any candy before lunch while Caius just sits there quietly.
While smelling the noxious fumes of the gas around the tanks an old beat up yellow car pulls in beside me. Two of the three people in the car jump out cussing at one another while the other stays in the back seat.
“You stupid %@#$%*! you said you were going to pay!” “I don’t have any *&^(%! &%$# money and I paid for gas last time!”
The big young man cussed at his girl the entire way into the gas station to give up his $5 for gas…letting everyone he passed know just what a !@$#%* she was.
I was immediately filled with disgust! How could these two yell obscenities at one another in a public place? Good grief…It’s just five dollars…shut up…pay for the gas and quit cussing like that in front of my kids!
I CAME FOR THE LEAST OF THESE
Like a spear into my soul…my Lord said it again: “Jayme, I came for the least of these.”
Then, I looked into her eyes. And in one split second the hard face that had been there turned into lonely eyes. The filthy mouth turned into a broken little girl.
I turned around to my van and desperately asked God…”Whatever you tell me to do…I’ll do it…just let me know…Whatever it is…I’ll do it…please let me know…and You need to hurry!”
FILL HER TANK UP WITH GAS
“Okay!”
I looked at her, said…”Hi, what’s your name?” Startled out of her tough girl act, she looked at me and said…”Oh, I–I’m Loretta.”
Me: Hi, Loretta…I’m Jayme. You may think that I’m crazy but…I’d like to fill up your car with gas.
Loretta: What?
Me: Yep. Can I please fill up your car with gas?
Loretta: Mmmmm…yeah. Why?
Me: Just because I love God…and He loves you…and we want to fill up your car with gas.
Loretta: Oh. Wow…thanks.
Me: Loretta, I’ll be praying for you.
Then I hugged her. But then her boyfriend came back out…guess he had $ for cigarettes or the lottery because he was sure in there a long time…or maybe God froze him in time. But as soon as he showed back up tough-girl Loretta was back. I did hear her tell him that I filled her car up. He didn’t say anything.
That was about 5 years ago.
I could tell you about other random acts of kindness.
…but none lately
…i haven’t noticed anyone lately
…i’ve been too busy
…i’ve got to get to work
…i don’t see them anymore
…i don’t hear them anymore
…i don’t look anymore
…i don’t go where they are anymore
…frankly…
i don’t care anymore…
…at least…not until now
ruin me!
October 15, 2008 at 10:15 am
They are there, they just haven’t been near enough to you for you to reach out. I know that you would reach out, God leads you that way. Even if your initial response is repulsion, your relationship with God is such that he would immediately turn your repulsion to his love.
They are there. Your heart is good and open to other people’s torment – I guess God is giving you a break – what do you think?
October 15, 2008 at 10:27 am
My first response was to make a joke about the gas prices and that’s why you don’t do that now…
But I will refrain from my joking nature.
My true inner response is Wow and holding back a tear… I’ve been thinking through things from Catalyst but I have been unable to put my finger on my thoughts and response.
There is one… Thanks for challnging my thoughts.
October 15, 2008 at 11:22 am
when I first started reading , I wanted to know where to buy the “rule book”. Funny changed real quick to conviction. I am in awe of how God works through us when we let Him. My heart was so convicted because I failed the test miserably last night. In Home depot, alone with my daughter on an isle, a man rounded the corner talking on his phone. He acknowledged we were there, and talked even louder. He said a string of words that I’m sure you heard at the gas station. I was so shocked that he would invade our little bubble with that junk. He showed such a lack of respect for us. All I could do at the time was shout out, “ya think his mother knows he talks like that? There was a little trip in his step so I was sure he heard me. Maybe I should have said, hey, God can help you with that. or maybe we could have prayed for him right there. What an example that would have been to my daughter. I know the test will come around again. This time I will be looking for it. Thanks for helping me today!!!
October 15, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Nope.
No break.
No “not enough money for gas”.
It’s blinders. I feel like I’ve been one of those horses in the Derby with those things on their eyes that makes them look straight ahead and not at anything else around them.
I’ve missed them.
But…the blinders are off…not only do I see them…I can almost smell them.
I’m one little woman with a great big fire–I’m fixing to burn!
October 15, 2008 at 12:42 pm
[...] was reading Jayme’s blog this morning and she definitely hit on some of the nerve surrounding this that I feel. I highly [...]
October 15, 2008 at 4:35 pm
You are not alone in the wearing of blinders. Glad they are off for now. We need to remind one another from time to time to look around, stop to smell the roses (so to speak).
Whether or not people want to admit it or now, we are all guilty of wearing those blinders.
I know I am.
October 17, 2008 at 9:57 pm
That makes sense,with this blog and the one after. Still kind of a scary prayer, but I build things for a living. One of the first things you do is demo, can’t really do anything new till you get rid of the old stuff. It’s amazing how you can work on something that’s dated and in disrepair, and turn it into something beautiful. You always have to have a good solid foundation though, just makes me want to say hmmm
October 21, 2008 at 9:31 am
Jayme, have you reached out to someone today – someone you have been meaning to call but just haven’t.
I did, I called Elaine Hess because she has been on my mind. I didn’t get her, but left a message and I intend to follow up.
Mary Lou