…so, I’ve been thinking about how things change.
I remember when I was a little girl and my family was buying a new house. It was a fabulous time for me…we were movin’ on up…ya know. My Dad had some concerns about the new house though because of the bedroom situation.
It was a two story home. That’s right…Mom, Dad, Jeff and Jason (my brothers), their bedrooms would all be upstairs. Me, my bedroom, would be downstairs…ALL ALONE.
I remember my Dad asking me if I would feel safe downstairs before we moved in. In my seven-year-old big-girl voice, I said…“Sure Dad, you’re right upstairs”
I don’t ever remember sleeping one day downstairs in my own room.
Each night when the lights went out and I had waited long enough for Mom and Dad to fall asleep…I would quietly sneak up the stairs and maneuver my way into Jason’s rightful spot. (Jason would then have to sleep at the bottom of the twin bed with four feet in his face.) Me, Jeff and Jason all slept in one twin bed upstairs. (We were so scared we wouldn’t even sleep in the other twin bed that was in their room.)
Well…I’m not afraid to sleep by myself anymore…even though I seldom do.
…which got me to thinking about how we outgrow some things. Mainly fears.
Some fears fade away as we grow.
I used to be afraid to love…now, vulnerability is essential.
I used to be wince at the thought of caring…but tenderness is knitting itself to my soul.
I used to shrink away from the touch of another…but now, I’m becoming the one who will reach.
That gives me hope for the future because…
I’m still afraid of a lot of things…probably the same things you’re afraid of.
We’re all afraid…but we don’t want anyone to know. That’s why you wait until everyone’s asleep and all the lights are off to sneak out of bed.
