…so…some life’s lessons I’d rather not learn.
And apparently I’m pretty hard-headed about it…because I’ve had to retake the class a couple of times.
I don’t remember much about literature in school…I was too busy worrying about my hair and lip gloss…but when we read Julius Caesar I remember being captivated. And when we read those words…“Et tu, Brute?” I felt like the dagger was thrust into my own soul and I remember crying in class…(I, by the way, was the only one who cried in class…what a dork!)
Little did I know then…what I know now.
Betrayal would be my companion.
My most recent encounter with Brutus…almost did me in…
I remember sitting in my home and crying out to my Lord… “I will not…cannot…do this any more! I’m weary…I can’t trust anyone…everyone is a liar…everyone is a leaver…Nobody loves…and neither do I! I Will Not Be Stabbed In The Back Again!
As soon as those last words came out of my mouth…I heard my Lord speak sweetly to my soul, words that were like a warm blanket to my chilling heart…“Then Turn Around”.
Through those three words my Lord showed me that the only way I could be stabbed in the back was if I had turned away. Turned away from my calling…turned away from my passion…turned away from so many of the things that I love. And as bad as I hate it…I can’t live without love.
Turning around is easier than walking away. Loving is easier than despising. Caring is easier than being cruel. Feeling is easier than being numb…in the long run.
I seem to remember someone else having a buddy like Brutus except his name was Judas. And the phrase he said wasn’t “Et tu, Brute?”…it was “You betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”…hmmm…I don’t imagine that Judas kissed him on the back of the head. No…Jesus was looking face to face…with his Brutus. No turning around.
And I want to be Just Like Him.
February 29, 2008 at 9:37 pm
There’s not much left to say. I am rather speechless after reading this. Of all the people that know my road… know my Brutus…it’s you and your Orangutan. The past two days have been something else. I appreciate you and the big O so much!!!
March 1, 2008 at 10:14 am
[...] I had begun to think the test was over and now it’s time to move on to new ground. My own Brutus (thanks for the lesson Jamye) brought me back to reality this week. Jayme’s comments are timely and I hope that you will [...]
March 2, 2008 at 10:02 pm
I am not very creative this week but this song ran through my head after reading this this week.
ALL THE WAY HOME by Larry Norman
This life is hard and the road is long that leads me toward the light
Sometimes I trip and stumble in the night.
My mind becomes so weary I just wanna lay down
But I got to keep on going ’til I reach the higher ground.
Let this good life be the life I lead
Let my faith grow like a mustard seed
And let your love be all the love I need
To carry me all the way home.
I’ve had my share of trouble as I’ve tried to walk this path
Sometimes it’s been so hard I’ve had to laugh
I’ve spent so many years in sorrow,much of my life in pain
But that’s just the way it is, you get the sunshine and the rain.
Let this good life be the life I lead
Let my faith grow like a mustard seed
And let your love be all the love I need
To carry me all the way home.
Hoping to learn, every wrong turn is a step toward the past.
Going astray, losing my way, but I found it at last.
Let this good life be the life I lead
Let my faith grow like a mustard seed
And let your love be all the love I need
To carry me all the way home.